6 Weeks Post-Op

So it's been a long time since my last post. A very long time. Still slacking, I know. I apologize! Not too much that is happening I feel and I'd rather not bore you!

My front tooth has lightened a bit! Which is GREAT news! I don't remember if I have even mentioned a thing about it. I've just been watching it to see what would happen. I'll re-cap in case I haven't said anything about it yet. The dr said one of the biggest risks with jaw surgery is the front teeth dying and then having to have a root canal/s. About 2 weeks after surgery, one of my front teeth went dark. Freaked the crap right outta me! At that point I still had the depressants from surgery in my body so it felt like the end of the world. I had a freak out moment and definitely cried. That whole day and the next few days I was so worried about my tooth. I didn't think it would turn dark so early. And the dr said I'd have to wait a year before I could do a root canal. So here I am thinking I just got a new face, finally ready to like what I see in the mirror and then this! I'd have to live with a dark tooth for a whole year! Shoot me now! That was soo not going to go over well with me. So we started praying away the dark tooth! Yep, you betcha we did. And guess what? God answers prayers! My tooth is not as dark as it was in California. It almost looks back to normal. I still pray that it will get back to normal and stay that way and no problems with deadening teeth ever occur! 
I have been so blessed during this whole shebang! I have healed remarkably well and for that I am forever grateful!! I am also now a firm believer in doTerra oils. Those suckers work magic.. I kid you not! I believe they have aided in my healing so well. One of the many oils we have been using every day since day of surgery is frankincense. And I'm sure you all know that frankincense was given to the Savior at his birth. Only the finest of the finest gifts were given, so if its good enough for the Savior- it's good enough for me! Can you just imagine the healing powers? Well, you don't have to if you've been following my blog and have seen through pictures and videos how well I've healed. Swelling was not near as bad as the average patient. And the majority of the swelling I did have came down fast. I didn't even bruise! No black eyes. My large marge lips weren't reducing very quickly though- the top was a lot bigger than my bottom lip- so we started putting frankincense on my top lip and bam! 2 days later it was about half the size or less. 2 days that's it! I've noticed the other oils I use for my neck and to help me sleep have definitely worked as well. Sleeping is still an issue for me but not as bad as it was before the use of oils. Think what you may, some are believers and some are not. However I like the holistic way of healing versus medicine from the doctors. Sure the medicines do what they need to do but not without side effects and harming other things in the body we may or may not feel. I've never been a fan of taking any form or kind of medicine. I just hate it. Now look at me, I am a walking pharmacy with all the crap I have to take each day! While I've gotten ulcers 4 times from the meds and have to check my liver every other month to make sure its still functioning, you give some you take some right? It's all about choosing your battles and right now my number one battle is my jaw and I'm going to win! Dang it I am winning! And once this is over something else will come out of left field and bop me on the head. And that's life- one thing after the next. It's never years of peaceful bliss (and if you are one of those that has years of peaceful bliss- suck it all in and enjoy it!!! You are blessed and so fortunate) But I'm hoping I've deserved a few years of peaceful bliss before the next life lesson throws me a curve ball again. Sure would be nice! 
If there's one thing I've learned through this it's this- sometimes life sucks.. sometimes A LOT.. and sometimes for a really long time. But through all the pain and suffering, I'm a fighter and a survivor and I can endure.
Things I am grateful for:

• my new jaw!!!
• my Tyson- who has dealt with this since we got married and stuck by my side through it all.. patient and kind
• my well healing
• no more episodes of an allergic reaction
• no black tooth
• a normal bite
• weekend visits from Ty- I love spending every minute with him when he is here and miss him when he is away
• the NutriBullet
• my family and friends- everyone has been so supportive and concerned about my well being and it has made me feel so loved 
• lips- although mine are not done healing, there is a difference and the new placement is lovely
• the gospel- my main source of strength to endure
• the acne wash and medication my dad gave me- I've been breaking out like a maniac with no end in sight and this marks the week that post-op acne starts. so far with this new stuff my acne has gotten better and it seems to be keeping the new ones at bay or healing them faster- fingers crossed it continues
• a clear nose- this week with the crazy wind it hasn't been quite as clear. but now that I know what an actual clear nose feels like, I can appreciate it!
• rice dream and coconut milk- my new found products for milk which I love. don't know if I'll ever buy regular milk again
• my nieces and nephews not running and screaming away from me when they first saw me with a crazy wired shut mouth and a fat face

And the count down:

11 days until the rubber bands come off during the day

11 days until I can sleep on my side!!

11 days until I can use a straw

27 days until I can eat again (soft chew diet) - but it's way to early to be getting excited about that. I can't afford that right now. However I'm still not hungry- I just want food in its original form. I am extremely sick of this blended diet.. what's for breakfast- soup or smoothie? What's for lunch- soup or smoothie? dinner- soup or smoothie? snack- soup or smoothie? Haha, those are basically my only options. I have found that I love a blended up chocolate cake donut, chocolate cheese cake, chocolate chip cookie, and a pillsbury orange cinnamon roll. Perhaps I like chocolate?

Well I am currently in the process of coloring my roots right now. Going for an all out change in hair. Hey, I just got a new face, why not change up my whole look right? :) Next week I get my extensions put back it!!! I have had them out for over a year now and I am so excited to get them back you have no idea! Time to wash- I'm out!

Small Changes... and Big Changes

I realize I'm over due for a video! Such a slacker. I've been such a lazy butt since I've been home and I've been loving it!! I've always been one that would literally chew my right arm off before I'd stay home all day (with or without something to keep me busy). I HAD to get out each day even if for a short walk around the block. I don't know whats happened to me?! I'm such a home body, I stay home most days not really doing anything AND not going stir crazy. Dr Arnett not only gave me a new face but a new sanity system too!

Anyway, today I thought I would just document my small changes (or lack thereof). And stay tuned, a Lana Lee Mehlhoff production is coming to a computer near you!

In the past couple weeks:

• more definition in jaw line
• cheeks still full and slightly puffy
• under eyes, top of cheekbones and around nose still puffy
• more feeling on face! 
• the feeling seems to be working its way in. it started along my hair line and each side is slowly coming back toward the middle of my face. so right now (5 weeks post-op) I can feel up to the corners of my mouth. under eyes has feeling back as well
• top of my nose and top lip have some feeling
• inside of my nose is still numb and parties all night long
• the itching is getting worse and driving me crazy! the party has now migrated down to my chin as well..I don't like to be left out of parties.. I certainly will be glad to satisfy that itch one day!!
• chin and bottom lip still completely numb
• gums numb
• roof of mouth numb
• more feeling on my tongue
• still drooling every now and then!
• front left tooth is not quite as dark as it was in cali- PRAY THAT IT CONTINUES TO LIGHTEN AND I DONT NEED A ROOT CANAL!
• my poor hair is still struggling in this life
• don't fret- I'll be putting my extensions back in in 2 weeks!!! I seriously can not wait, you have no idea how excited I am! Extensions make everything better- did I mention I am also the greatest extension artist this side of the equator? yup, I was trained well and my hair is top quality that lasts 2+ years, so if you want long, full, thick, beautiful hair call me and you wont be disappointed! Don't mind me advertising myself right about now.  702 769 8250.. Let's do this! :)
• nails are weak and breaking right and left. tragic.
• Dr Spilsbury is checking my progress weekly- says everything is looking really good!
• I don't remember if I already mentioned the first time he saw me after surgery but... he was like a little kid in a candy store for the first time. big smile on his face. so pleased with the results. must be such a reward to not only be working with a client for so many years and finally see results but to also know that part of the result is his own work :) way to go Dr Spils! There is no better ortho- he is such a perfectionist and has been so helpful through this long journey

19 days until these stupid rubber bands come off!!!! Who's counting? Me! I totally am! 19 more days marks 8 weeks post-op which means a lot of patiently awaited things for me. Those things being: SIDE SLEEPING!!! Oh heaven that will be! Nose blowing (still so so so grateful that my nose is clear clear clear! It seriously has never been this clear. It's amazing. Thanks to Dr Arnett for scraping out my sinuses!! He says it was awful, it was just so chocked full. ew. Anyway it has been so great I've seriously thought about going back in to get it scraped out again should I need to! Is that even possible?) Also, straw sucking whoop whoop! That will make my life so much more convenient! Spoon usage. No chewing yet though. I'll still be on puréed diet for 2 additional weeks after the bands come off. This is due to me being a high risk patient and having retarded joints. Yay me! But my list of foods to eat once I can is ever growing and my food board on pinterest is making me salivate. 

This week my mom made some delicious baked potatoes that we put in the NutriSystem with bacon (duh!), sour cream, onions and a little bit of cheese.. uh, yeah, that was good! Better than I thought. Then I tried a new recipe. African Quinoa-Peanut Soup which includes red bell pepper, celery, green chilies, sweet potato, zucchini, quinoa and peanut butter among other things and spices. D to the VINE. I love peanuts (although I am sadly allergic) and peanut butter (which I am not allergic to- go figure) and veggies are my favorite.. so it's safe to say I thoroughly enjoyed that soup! I've had a lot of people ask for the recipe so I've posted it below.

blended baked potato. it's amazing how things blended up taste exactly like the real thing

potatoe 'stache

African Quinoa- Peanut Soup pre- peanut butter..

..and after peanut butter..so so good!

the recipe

sorry the right picture is grainy, but this is just to show the difference as of today (April 26, 2013)

healing is still not complete so it could look different in a few months, but look at the difference now. wow. amazing. do I look like the same person? this is great! Dang, I look good! (on the left side)

I've noticed that now, even with the rubber bands on, I have more confidence talking to people than I did before. I absolutely could not stand the way my mouth, lips, teeth and jaw were before and I hated when I saw how they functioned in the mirror. And through the changes and my jaw receding I noticed people staring at my mouth when I would talk rather than my eyes or even both. It's like they could tell something was wrong with my mouth but not sure what so they were trying to figure it out. And I felt like they weren't really listening to me. So I got really insecure talking to people and I would hardly look at them while I talked. Now, even though I can't open my mouth and my lips are still getting movement back I feel more back to my old self. I can look people in the eye while I talk to them. I'm not afraid when someone is looking at me, or when someone is standing next to me and sees my side profile (because I've got a side profile now and excuse me when I say SOMEBODY'S LOOKING FAAAABULOUS). I can now laugh when people look at my mouth and try to figure out what I am saying because they are probably just thinking I have to wear the rubber bands due to my braces and that sucks. Hah! Wrong..if only they knew. But it's temporary. Soon I'll be able to have the bands off and work on full function of my mouth and be a normal human being once again! Here's to feeling pretty!

Life Continues

Things have been relatively calm around here since my breakout reaction to the meds. Phew! Hopefully I continue on the good and healthy track! I don't want to go through that (or anything worse for that matter) again!

Got to see my boy and Teeka!!!! Ty came down for the weekend and brought our little black dog. She is almost 4. Such a sweet little tender thing that needs LOTS of attention and gives out loves and kisses freely. How can anyone not like dogs? I just don't get it. My dogs have brought me so much happiness and joy in my life! I got a Pomeranian/American Eskimo mix pup when I was 8. Cutest thing I've ever seen in my life! And one little fur ball of energy! He was a little fireball that one! He'd hear the front door open and torpedo out. He wanted to live his life exploring EVERYTHING. He loved being outside- just not when we all left the house and put him out in the backyard. Poor guy had separation anxiety. He was such a pretty dog. Got comments constantly. And up until his time on earth was done, people kept asking, "how old is your puppy".. "ooh almost 19" I would say! Yup, that's right, oldest dog in history right thurr! I was beginning to think he was immortal. Others would ask what I was doing or feeding him to keep him alive and healthy so long. Table scraps since he was a pup, steak bones, steak, potatoes, french fries, oreos, anything and everything! No, we didn't finish all his shots- I dont think they are necessary. We fed him regular dog food from the store- Purina to be exact, then tried new ones as he and I both grew up. And that's what he and I did together.. we grew up right along side one another.

He slept right next to me, curled next to my side for about 13 years or so. My parents kept him at home while I went away to hair school, and the first year I was married he stayed at my parents while Ty and I were in an apartment. Then when we moved to a dog friendly home we brought Simpy over and got Teeka. Oh, Simpy? His name is Simpter. Simpter Fidelious to be exact. Such a hideous name, I know. But it fit him oh so much, and there is a long history that goes with that name. So the story is this:

My family is rarely serious. Sarcastic and goofy is a good definition. I'm pretty sure we get it from my father. When my dad was young and in high school, he decided he wanted to be in the year book twice. So he was! He told the person taking down names his real name- Chad Lee, got his picture taken and hopped back in line. Second time around he said his name was Simpter Fidelious, got his picture taken again and BAM just like that he was in the year book as Chad Lee and Simpter Fidelious. Two separate pictures with two separate names. Hah! He came up with this name from the motto of the Marine Corps "Semper Fi"- people still have these bumper stickers all over. Now when you see one you will think of my precious boy Simpter and the story that goes along with it! You just wait and see haha. But it doesn't stop there! My brother's also thought that this was a great idea, so Trent did the same thing in high school. In the yearbook as Trent Lee and Simpter Fidelious. Brett did the same in junior high. And Kenny did the same in high school as well. Of course the angel child gets caught hahaha. When Kenny said his name was Simpter Fidelious, the lady taking his name looked at him and said "Are you Chad Lee's son?" She was the same lady that took my dad's picture back in his high school days! Can you believe it?! So he got caught red handed. There was one dean that for some odd reason had it out for Ken. He did not like him (everyone likes Kenny!) So he was dead set on making sure Kenny paid for it. My parents had to go in for a conference, Ken had to apologize to the principle, and some dumb record went on file for him. The first and last record.

So as my fam and I were all sitting there throwing out names for my new pup, that one came up. I think I may have thrown up a little in my mouth. I said that was disgusting and no way am I naming my dog Simpter. Simpter?! Once they told me the story I decided that was hilarious and family history so Simpter it was. And it stuck, and there couldn't have been a better name for him!

My old man finally met his maker this February. Feb. 23 he had a stroke at 6am. I am NOT going into detail because that was easily one of the hardest days of my life.. both seeing him go through that and having to put him down. But I know it was the best choice. It was definitely time. He was so old, he lived a super long, super spoiled, super loved life. I think dogs have extra senses. It was like he knew that day was his last. He was so ready. Didn't fight it. Once he passed, he was probably thinking why didn't you do this sooner?! This place is awesome. I know he is as happy as any spirit can be. Chasing squirrels to his heart's content (by far that was his favorite past time) and eating a buffet of his favorite things until he can't possibly eat any more. And I know I'll be reunited with him some day and that makes me so happy! Teeka had a hard time with it. She really mourned. It broke my heart. I was so worried about respectfully burying Simpter that I told Tyson not to let Teeka out after we brought him home from the pet hospital. Teeka is always so excited to see us and all over the place I thought she'd just get in the way. Breaks my heart that I didn't let her see him and say bye. Because at that point she knew something was going on. But I can't dwell on what I wished I'd done. I'm happy I got to spend his last day cuddling and holding him. It was tender to my heart and I will never forget those peaceful moments. I still cry about it to this day. When you have your best friend for 19 years, you think they will be around forever. 

I knew Simpter was getting older and must be on his tail end a few years ago. That's why I got Teeka. I knew I would need another dog when his time came. And man I am SO glad I listened to that thought in my head, because having Teeka sure helped my heart to heal once Simpy was gone. And I think I helped her. She lost her best friend. It took weeks for her and I to stop crying. Haha yes, Teeka cried in her own way. That little fatty hardly ate for almost 2 weeks! That's a huge deal for her!

Sheesh, I've gabbed your ears off for so long about my dogs. Well I did say they bring me so much joy! I'll switch it up to Ty and I and let you be on your way!

Ty got here friday night! We spent ALL DAY saturday together and I just loved every second of being with him! My Duck Dynasty man! He has a beard for days. AND on my instagram I made a reference about his beard being Duck Dynasty worthy (look it up and watch the show- it's hilarious). The main guy- Willie- from the show (Duck Dynasty) saw my post and 'liked' it! This made Ty and I happy :) And gave Ty all the more reason to keep growing it! Forget Hollywood and celebrities! All we care about is Duck Dynasty! That's probably the only REAL reality show out there. The show follows those who made the 'duck call' for hunters. They are real. They are funny. I'd love to spend a day with them. Or more!

Then Sunday Ty and I went to my best friend's wedding!! It was so fun!! So pretty. The cake was beautiful/cool. And Riss looked STUNNING! And so happy!! When I saw her walking down the aisle with her dad, she was so beautiful, happy and in love, I actually teared. I am just so so happy for her! It was a great day! And I'm so glad Tyson was there to share it with me.

THE. CUTEST. THING. EVER.

This is my Simpter.. he's a bit obsessed with food

My Immortal :)

a little shrine to my loved one

the old man

my last moments with him I will treasure forever

my little lover. Teeka

she's pretty cute

THE BEST OF FRIENDS

my mountain man and I at Riss's wedding

girlfriends from high school- we all danced together throughout 

MY BEST and our boys! (Christina and Boris)

Ty getting low

THAT'S ME! can you believe it?! look at that amazing side profile! :)

just some stitches coming out

When it Rains it Pours Right?

It's still great to be home! Feeling more alive each day... and then I break out in hives. And think that I'm dying. WHAT? 
Not quite sure what is going on. I'd love to post some pics to share the severity of it with you but that would require you seeing my sexy naked bod, and well, um, only Tyson gets to see that.. Oh wait, and my mom, and my sister in laws and all my friends I grew up with have seen every naked square inch of me. Let's just say as much as I love clothes, I love being naked even more. When I die and go to heaven, my heaven will be without clothes, so if you'd like to come visit.. leave your clothes at the gates.
Anyway, here's my story:
A couple nights ago mom was rubbing DoTerra oils on my feet. Which by the way (number 1) Nurse Mama has not missed a beat in taking care of me since day one! She's got my schedule down to a 'T'. Even has a check mark schedule printed out to keep me on track and make sure I don't miss a thing! She has been so dang good and pampering it's no wonder I've healed so well! Every hospital patient needs my mom as their nurse- then people would be looking for reasons to be admitted! And (number 2) we really think those DoTerra oils have benefited me well in this healing process. So she was putting the oils on and I was taking out my hair- because we all know now that my hair is in a top knot every day. I've lost so much it's so pathetic. And my head begins to itch like crazy. I think nothing of it and go to bed. Next morning I am in the shower and I notice hives on the back of my legs. I wrote it off quickly bc occasionally I get small hives but after a couple hours they go away. This was Saturday morning. Later that afternoon all the fam went to the Logandale fair. I LOVE fairs/rodeos! And this year one of my very dearest friends Kelli Royal and her adorable little boy came with us. We were out there for several hours. By the time we finally made it home it was around 8-8:30. We were all so pre-occupied with finding my wallet and phone. Earlier at the fair my sis in law Bree was looking at toe rings while holding her babe Nixon. He started fussing, so I handed Brett (my bro) my wallet (which had my phone in it) and I took Nixon. Brett walked over to the stroller and put my wallet in the stroller bag. We all left the fair thinking it was still in that bag. However, somehow it fell out and was left stranded and alone on the ground. So here we all were, 9pm by this point, trying to call the lost and found, call multiple companies to cancel my credit cards, and trying to use icloud to locate my phone.. only to find out my phone is "offline". Poor Tyson, he HATES these kinds of crisis. He is always careful to avoid these things and he was stressin' a bit I'm sure! Much to my dismay, my bank, Chase, was "down for the night". Their systems weren't working so they couldn't cancel my card. What a great night to lose your wallet Lana! All the while I'm scratchin' my sides like a dog. My head was also itching. I told my mom she may have to check me for lice cause this is not normal. EW. Once we did all we could do about my wallet and things calmed down I lifted up my shirt and saw big welts just covering my sides and hips. As I undressed I realized it didn't stop there. It was from the top of my head to my mid thighs and EVERYWHERE in between. And it just kept getting worse. Itching more, bigger hives, welts, elephantiasis- I don't even know what to call it at this point. So, once again, Mama Nurse jumped into action! Cool bath she says! Rub on this oil concoction! Benadryl! Anti-itch cream and spray! Bed! Benadryl again if you wake up in the night! (Gotta love that woman!) I did as was told. It helped a little. Made it bearable. Benadryl helped me sleep. It wore off at 4:17 in the morning- man was I itching so bad! When I turned on the light to take my med I wasn't sure if I was looking at my legs or burnt hotdogs. I was covered in hives! Hives that were attaching to one another and making one big giant hive! Concerned, I took my nasty benadryl and went to bed. Woke up in the morning, I mean afternoon, 12:20 to be exact (that benadryl knocks you out man) and 95% of the hives were gone! Cool. After another hour or so there was no trace of them. Sweet! Then I get home from church, catch up on a couple of my fave TV shows and start itching on my shoulders. Guess whose back for an unfriendly visit?! Hives were on their way again. Repeat routine. Email surgeons office. Apparently my mom got an upset phone call from the surgeons office explaining that we have forgotten every detail in the hour long slideshow they showed us explaining if hives occur, go to the emergency room immediately. Hah. Whoops! So we discussed with the surgeons office what to do, called countless allergists to see who was available asap and finally made an appointment the next morning. 
Well now it's that "next morning" and I have just returned from the allergist. Dr Tottori and his nurses believe I am allergic to penicillin and cephalosporins and am having a delayed reaction. I have been off of the penicillin for about 3 weeks, however reactions can happen up to a month and a half after stopping the med. I'm relieved they don't think it's a reaction to the meds I need to take to help stabilize my fragile joints! So I was given prednisone and told to continue benadryl and or/zyrtec as needed and advised to get a medical bracelet. This medical bracelet will either be worn or carried with me AT ALL times in the future so if anything were to happen, any human, be it dr, friend or stranger, knows my allergies and what to avoid so I do not go into anaphylactic shock. Well geez, I'm beginning to feel like a walking medical case. All these new things springing about everywhere! But, it's good to get them figured out now so I can avoid more problems and complications in the future. Kiiinda scary. Kinda sad. I love amoxacillin. That pink liquid, I could just drink a whole bottle! I remember sneaking down to the kitchen one night when I was probably around 7 or 8. Found the amoxacillin in the fridge and drank half the bottle before I thought I heard someone coming. Haha it's a good thing that didn't do anything to me or cause problems then. My parents would have had no clue what was going on!
Anyway, no more penicillins and cephalosporins. Slowly re-introduce my other meds as precaution and continue anti-histamines as needed.
And that, my friends, is my story.

Not Sure What's Happening

Hey guys! This is going to be a short post just for a quick update. I am in the middle of a reaction, we don't know what or why. I have an appointment with the allergist tomorrow morning. In the meantime if it gets worse, unfortunately I have to go to the ER to get a shot! Lucky me! Dr's office is a little worried. But I'm not, just terrified of getting a shot and super annoyed that this is happening. I thought I was in the clear!? Reactions to meds can happen at any time even though I've been taking them for years. But, the complications with surgery went as well as we could hope for so it's better this than that! Stay tuned!

Home Sweet Home

It feels great to be home! Even though it's my parents home and not my own it is wonderful! Duh! It's where I grew up and what I love why wouldn't it be wonderful? My spirits are up and my attitude is bright. Home isn't really where the heart is because my heart & body was just in Cali, in this cute little house for 3 weeks, and while it was nice, I am much happier here at MY home! I think it will be good for me to get back into more of a "normal routine".  See family and friends, go out on lunch (I mean smoothie) dates with my usuals (you know who you are!) and just get out and about. Start driving again in a little while, go to stores, run errands, you know, do the things that people without kids or a job do! That's me..again.. for awhile. :) (I am taking suggestions now..)

So the plan now is weekly check ups with Dr Darrel Spilsbury (only the greatest orthodontist on this side of the Nile!) for 5 weeks. Then the bands come off!!! Bands? The bands the dr uses to hold my mouth hostage. It's basically a prison cell. Nothing out, nothing in. Except for puréed soups and smoothies and anything else I can dream up to puree! The other morning, we blended up my favorite Pillsbury orange cinnamon rolls with rice dream and the orange frosting. Hah! Tasted JUST like the roll itself. That was breakfast! Just trying to get my calories in folks. 

So, after the bands come off, I am on an additional 2 weeks of pureed diet because I am a high risk patient.. yay me. After those 2 weeks marks 10 weeks from surgery- back to Cali to see Dr Arnett we go. He will hopefully give me the go ahead for a soft chew diet. Bah! I cant wait for that!! And then the bands are worn only at night for an additional 8-10 weeks. Bah! I cant wait for that either!! At the 20 week mark we go back to Cali once again for Dr Arnett to take out the screw and hook in my gums that I use to hook the rubber bands to. THIS appointment my friends is when I plan to spend an entire day at Six Flag's!!! BAH!! THAT I really can't wait for!! I am also opening up the invitation to any and all who would like to join us. This will be a celebration for me at that point so I'm making a dang good celebrating vacay out of it! Yep, you betcha! So start saving your money now and find your babysitters cause whose going to watch the babes while we are screaming our heads off on big kid roller coasters?! (your sweet little spawns are totally invited too, just don't be offended if I don't want to do little kid stuff with you! but I still love you!) 

Changes at this point:

• swelling is still minimal but still present- swelling can last up to 12 months
• face is still numb and will be for a long while- feeling comes back anywhere from 2-12 months
• there is a party on my face each night after I go to bed- this creates major frustration as my face is tingling and itching away all night long, but with numb skin I can not satisfy that stupid itch!!!
• brushing my teeth is so awesome- stitches are still EVERYWHERE in my mouth and it's sore and uncomfortable to brush..but I get to clean my teeth!
• more exercises- shoot me now 
• joints hurt after exercises
• lip movement is improving
• lips basically back to normal size- minus the bump in the middle of top lip
• no more salt washes!!!
• no more pain med
• cant sleep without tylenol pm to knock me out- and it doesn't even do that. but it does help me sleep enough to not hate life 
• cant find a comfortable sleep position
• no more naps- I'm a big kid now!
• pills, pills, pills. it's back to taking pills. my life revolves around pills. but now, with a full size esophagus pills are easier to get down! Woop Woop!!
• weight- 91 pounds. lost about 10lbs (though that highly depends on the day and time you ask me, I've gained anywhere from 2-6lbs after a meal pre-surgery..like I said, I used to love food. Tyson advised me against binging and over eating once I can eat again.. hahaha he knows how much I love love food and how I have no control over it. I guess its time to learn a little)

As I sit here and type I am exercising my jaw. Open and close. Side to side, forward and lip puckering. My movement is minimal. I'm working towards full range of movement by the time my bands are off so I can fit a nice juicy In n' Out burger and Kung Pao chicken from P.F. Chang's in the second I can eat normal! Those are first and foremost on my list! But let's not talk about that right now. I'll live off of Tropical Smoothie! We bought the NutriBullet today with tons of fruit and veggies, kale and flaxseed. Soo we'll see what we can whip up! I'm out! Happy juicing to me.

No One is Perfect

Continuing from yesterdays post.. Life is not all flowers! Don't think I am always happy and strong..cause I'm not! :) And I'm going to prove it to you right about now. I try as hard as I can to stay positive and happy and think of my blessings through all this crap. Yeah, that's right, it's a bunch of crap if ya ask me! And that's my nice way of putting it. :) Some days are just down right hard. Awful. Others are great! Mom may have mentioned already about the steroids they use during surgery (not sure?) but, they have depressants in them. I still have those depressants in me now. I am advised not to watch sad movies, listen to sad music etc. because it will heighten those emotions. So when I hurt, worry about after surgery risks, or am sad.. I get depressed. It takes a deep dive real quick. It's weird. Can't really control it. Makes a bad day worse. I cry and it's almost like its the end of the world. I think to myself "how in the heck am I ever going to get through the next 8 weeks??". One day at a time..one day at a time. That's all I can handle right now. I so hate the routine of everything I have to do. My jaw is now starting to become sore a lot more from the exercises to stretch it. And, like my mom mentioned before, I'd honestly rather not eat! It's a blessing and a curse. But I am force feeding every day. Strange, so strange for me- because if you know me well, you know I LOOOVE me some food! I think my spirit is a fat spirit because I am obsessed with food. Or so I thought. Haha, not so much now. But up until this point food controlled my life. It was the last thing I thought about before falling asleep and the first thing I thought about when I woke up. No joke.

Below I've got some serious pics. PLEASE BEWARE. Some of these are nasty! Don't say I didn't warn you...

the only 6:30 I see is pm.. not on March 20!

walking into the hospital

chillin'

relaxin'

Dr Arnett- best surgeon in the world yes sir

GO TIME

BEWARE!

BRACE YOURSELF..

VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

THIS IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART..

yup.. a bib for my blood..classy

suctioning out the blood. notice how he keeps his distance? I've been known to cough up blood with a flying distance of 5 or 6 feet.. go me

check out those angelina jolie lips :D

who is that?

That, I assure you, is not what I prefer for a day of fun. And if a nurse ever tells you they have to spray Afrin up your nose- RUN!!!! Run until your lungs collapse. I think I'd rather take a lesson from a sword swallower. So you see? We are all in this messed up, beautiful, awful wonderful world together! And no one, no matter how it seems, is perfectly happy, positive, strong and holding it together 100% of the time. But I sure can try!! Because that is my goal in life! As for now, the secret is to post on my good days! :) Now you know.

I still want to thank you for all your comments of strength, motivation, well wishes and prayers!!!! You cant even imagine how much they continue to help me get through this!!!

Cheers to a good day! 

Until we meet again..