I am just happy! Let me re-iterate.. I am a happy camper and I love life! I have been on a "soft chew" diet now for a week and a half and I couldn't be happier or love food more! Those who know the ins and outs of me ask how is that even possible.. Lana? Love food more than she did before surgery? Yup, beelieve it! It's possible. 10 weeks of nothing but puréed liquids gives a whole new meaning to food and chewing..and wasted food. I think I've discussed my thoughts on perfectly fine food that goes wasted in an earlier post.. it just irks me! When I saw someone not finish their food while I was just drinking away made me want to pummel them like a football player tackles his opponent. Not cool. But no worries! I can eat it now too!! Well, almost. Just the soft, mushy stuff. My little body has a tiny stomach. I don't eat much. It doesn't take much to satisfy my stomach. I say satisfy because I listen to my body and only eat until I am satisfied- NOT full. Because being full is too much and I don't want to go back to my old eating habits.. because I love food so much I would eat and eat until it was either gone ( and get more bc it was so divine ) or until I had to be rolled away from the table. Everything to me was just so delicious I just wanted to keep eating. And everything still is SO delicious, BUT my body does not need as much as I would like to eat.. that's just unhealthy. So I enjoy every single bite until I am satisfied, and because of that, I'll enjoy my healthy, fit body right along with my good eating habits. Forgive me for going on about this- but I am pretty proud of myself :) I thought once I could eat again I would go crazy and gorge myself. But the transition has actually been quite nice and easy. And my body has not had one single hard time adjusting between liquid to solid foods, so that's a plus too!
I have been back and forth between Utah, Vegas and Cali. I am a tricky one to keep track of. I can't even keep track of myself sometimes. So after the initial 3 weeks of healing hell in Santa Barbara, I was in Vegas for 5 weeks. Then I went back home to Utah for 2 weeks to take care of my hair and extension clients (come get yo' hair did by yours truly- me!) then back to Vegas and on to SB for more check ups with my surgeon and back to Vegas after that for more appointments with my ortho. Currently, I am in Utah again.. for my clients, for myself, for family, for life! In two weeks I'll return to Vegas- more check ups. If you couldn't tell, even 11 weeks later, everything is so so crucial. They checked my jaw, teeth and bite every week for 8 weeks. Now, it's been 11 weeks post op and I am being checked every other week. Yep, I have to drive back to Vegas every other week. But only until August. AND BEST PART?! TY AND I ARE GOING TO 6 FLAG'S FIRST WEEK OF AUGUST!! My surgeon's office is about 30 minutes from 6 Flag's, so when I go back for my 20 week check up in August- I am making it a par.tay!! Hate me for saying so... but I think I deserve it! :) And like I said awhile ago, my party is open invitation for all! Anyone want to come to 6 Flag's with us please call/text me.. we'd love to have you join us! :)
Sheesh, just talking about all that back and forth is exhausting me. It's also exhausting our bank accounts! Never mind the fact that the surgery was waaay more than expected and completely left us broke and sent us into debt for the first time EVER in our lives. Never mind the fact that we are homeless and had to pull out of buying the home we were currently living in. Never mind the fact that we are cool enough to live in a trailer in the coolest location ever. I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER.
Ty's dad owns an RV business. So we pulled a trailer from his lot, put it on Tyson's parent's new home lot, in Elk Ridge (the most amazing place ever we LOVE) and there we are! Parked in the backyard of heaven. In the middle of the trees. Where deer freely roam my yard daily (this makes me very happy). Where we get our farm fresh eggs from the neighbors chickens down the street. And bees and hornets think my trailer is their home. With the most amazing views ever. Yes, I live in a trailer and I'm rockin' it. I am not ashamed. I actually kinda like it. It's peaceful and very calm. With nothing but the sounds of nature and birds all around. Where the dogs in the neighborhood prance from yard to yard with each other and Teeka thinks she owns them all, along with all the land, she couldn't be happier. She has a perma-smile. We are backed up by the mountains, a canyon and a golf course- does it get any better than that?! Just wait until you see my pics. Jealousy will ensue. :)
I have noticed a few things since surgery
- My neck has not bothered me since I was able to sleep on my side 3 weeks ago!! That's. Big.
- I am not afraid to be in front of people. I am not afraid to talk to people. I don't care when people look at me or even stare- in fact.. stare away! I like my new face and I'm not hiding!
- My confidence has been greatly boosted and is growing as I continue to work on becoming the person I want to be
- I can laugh a lot more- at anything, at myself. I am not perfect, so when I have moments of retardedness, I can laugh at myself rather than feeling inadequate or getting defensive. So I did or said something stupid.. don't we all?
- I am not as afraid to be goofy. I was so worried about my deteriorating appearance that I tried to be perfect in every other aspect I could to make up for it. I was afraid to be goofy and really be myself and let loose for fear of others negative thoughts. Or worse- my husbands disapproval, shame etc. I am starting to realize once again- who cares if others think you're weird? We all need a bit of goofiness in our lives. Maybe even more than a bit! You can't please everyone in this world, but if you are a good person and can laugh at yourself and are not afraid to be goofy- you win!
- People genuinely care. And for that, I am thankful
And for the rest of my life, I will forever have a testimony of the 'power of prayers from others'. *epiphany moment- was this trial just for me to learn that?! If The Lord gave me this trial for me to learn just that -> the power of prayers from others..that's extremely rude and I don't like it. Not a good idea. There are far easier ways to learn that! Hah. Kidding.. but seriously.
It's safe to say I have learned FAR more than just that. But YIKES that was NOT a fun way to learn.
Through it all, I have seen, witnessed, read and heard of others' hard things they go through in life and I don't know how they do it. While no one can imagine how hard it was for me to struggle with this for five. long. years. occasionally I find myself saying "I'll take my trial 10 times over than to go through what "they" are going through". Though I still don't wish it upon anyone... though.. I probably couldn't care less if this experience was handed to a certain person of power, whose name begins with an 'o'.. juust sayin'..
And now my friends, feast your eyes upon these:
golf course and valley view
running trail in our backyard which leads into the thick of the mountains.. home of bears and mtn lions- watch out!
welcome to my humble aboad- and I do mean humble in its humblest form- double wide baby
rolling hills and off to the right is the 12th hole
just drivin' home
drivin' down the mountain on my way into the city
sunset in the backyard of heaven
my new pet Fred
more of the golf course and city
daily occurrence :D (sorry its blurry)
LIFE GOALS:
and that's okay!!
firmly believe this one. i mean look at me now- lost a great home, homeless, living in a trailer, no money whatsoever, married 5 years and still no babes allowed (have to wait one year AT LEAST, maybe longer, after surgery) because of all my traveling I can't work full time, limited diet and still haven't regained half my strength...YET- I couldn't be happier and I LOVE LIFE! :D
Amen!
keep telling yourself that! :)
