Alright. It's official. I am hungry! I eat a soup, smoothie, milkshake.. nothing satisfies. It's all the same! The other day I was so hungry I ate so many different things I got so sick I almost threw up. I had a bowl of soup, still hungry, so I made a smoothie. Still hungry. Made a whole can of chili and ate the entire thing. Plus I have to thin it down so it made more than the can. It was good. Still, it did not completely satisfy. So I made a peanut butter, banana, chocolate milkshake. Then I worked out a little. 15 minutes to be exact. And of course I need protein after a work out so I had my yummy protein milk. Then I had to take pills so I then drank half a bottle of water. That did me in. All of a sudden my stomach felt full. Then it turned to sickness. I took off my rubber bands as I felt it all coming back up. I was praying it down! Learned my lesson there.
So let the count down begin:
19 days until I can eat soft food!! Aaah
Soft food consists of:
scrambled eggs
mashed potatoes
pasta
noodles
beans
rice
soups.. yay (but at least i can have chunks and veggies and consistency in my soups)
veggies! (cooked of course)
etc.
Oh the possibilities!! I seriously can not wait. I don't think there is a person on this earth, or any earth that knows how bad I can't wait. There isn't a single person that understands any of what I went through for years, what I just went through in healing, and everything I am going through now. Stupid jaw! Who knew it could create such HUGE problems. But with that being said, no one knows what anyone is going through when in a rough time, because we are not them. We can be told about someone's trial but can not completely understand how hard it is to them. And that is life my friends. To each their own. We each have things we struggle with at times. And to us it feels like the worst thing ever and the end of the world. Ain't that the truth!
Still, I am SO glad to be where I am. To actually be on this side of things. Surgery actually happened. I am almost 7 weeks out and healing remarkably well and for that, I couldn't be more grateful!
Of course I have learned and grown through the journey. Definitely NOT the way I would have chosen, but my life is governed by the Lord. Each hard time in our lives brings us closer to the Lord, or tears us apart. I feel sad for those in this world going through hard times without God. There is no way I would have made it through if I didn't the Lord to pray to. I just don't know how they function! The Lord is a friend of mine! A great friend! One that I go to in a time of need. Any need whether big or small. Even tiny dumb things. I think I am praying throughout the day everyday. Asking, pleading, thanking- you name it. I kinda like him. Everyone needs God as their friend!
This week I am getting more feeling in my bottom lip. All I can say about that = ew. It's gross. It feels so weird I can't handle it. The doc said when feeling starts to come back it feels like ants walking on your face. Try biting!! Yeah, it feels like something is biting me. Out of nowhere, I'll feel a bite on my face and I'll quickly brush it away certain I'm swatting a bug. Nope, don't be alarmed- just a little zap of feeling.
Over all I feel great! Energy is still not even close to back to normal but that will be a long time coming. It's just my mouth at this stage that is constantly sore as feeling comes back. Constantly irritated and super annoyed. I keep stretching my lips to get comfort or relief. Nothin'. My tongue and the roof of my mouth hate each other. They are not friends. They hate the new placement and are still trying to get used to it. More feeling in my gums and teeth are slowly starting to creep their way in too. It's just gross! I wish I could explain it, but I can't. I don't brush my teeth as long right now because I hit certain spots that make me want to yell. It's like AAAHH! Get out of my mouth and don't touch me! Kinda like one of those things your husband does that just instantly pushes a button somewhere inside you and you go from happy to angry/irritated/annoyed/mad (you name it) in a flash! Yup, JUST like that. :) (love you Ty!)
Tonight I made one of our favorites for dinner. Creamy white chicken chili. Thanks to my SIL Meg! That is the best white chili ever. EVER. Filling and totally satisfying to me tonight! Tonight is fun for me. I've got my boy here. Made dinner for him and my parents, ate together, now we are just sitting down to watch The Chronicles of Narnia. That's a good night if you ask me. I LOVE watching movies. But lazy nights with food AND a movie. Jackpot.
